The Post-Layoff Prompt Recovery Toolkit
Three prompts. Zero pity. Maximum catharsis for the recently reorganized.
Why We Wrote This
Instead, I spun up three. Three unhinged, unfiltered, painfully accurate writing prompts to help every product manager process their latest workplace breakup. Not with grace. With gallows humor.
Because we’ve all nodded through the layoffs pretending it was a "realignment." We’ve all watched our roadmaps replaced with PowerPoint astrology. We’ve all been thanked for our “impact” 10 minutes before losing Slack access.
So we turned rage into satire. Pity into parody. Burnout into black comedy. This isn’t a writing exercise. It’s post-layoff catharsis. A toolkit for the recently reorganized. A digital scream into the void disguised as creative expression.
Call it group therapy for PMs who emotionally quit two quarters ago. Call it a creative exit interview. Call it what it is: the only severance package that doesn’t suck.
What’s Inside
Inside you’ll find:
A Dear John letter to your former employer, narrated by the voice of your choosing
A 1-star Glassdoor review written like a slow-motion wildlife documentary
A LinkedIn influencer post so cringe-core it deserves a WeWork mural and a standing desk
You don’t need closure. You need comedy.
Welcome to your layoff recovery kit.
Bring spite. We’ve got prompts!
The Prompts
Here’s a full example ChatGPT session where I ran the following three prompts, one after the other.
Prompt 1: Dear John, Breakup Letter
Write the note you wish you’d sent — the one that begins, "Oh, you think you broke up with me?" and ends with a petty burn disguised as professional reflection. Choose your narrator (Morgan Freeman? Werner Herzog? Ricky Gervais?) and let the prompt shape your farewell as ancient prophecy, bleak docudrama, or British sarcasm.
Example Snippet:
“I emotionally quit the moment we started doing standups in haiku. Thanks for the severance — I’ve already reorg’d myself into a better plotline.”
Try the prompt here: You Can't Fire Me, I Quit Dear John Letter Prompt
Prompt 2: Glassdoor Review of Doom
Craft a 1-star review so witheringly specific it might end up framed in HR’s war room. Chronicle the emotional pantomime. The Slack rituals. The vibe-check bots. Then deliver your final mic drop with all the deadpan fury of a burned-out Attenborough.
Example snippet:
”To survive, I leaned on ancient rituals: rearranging virtual Post-its on a Miro board like I was conducting a séance, writing haikus in Jira tickets for bugs that would never get fixed … and setting weekly 1:1s with my emotional support plant, Greg.”
Try the prompt here: Glassdoor Review Prompt: A Masterclass in Pretending to Care
Prompt 3: LinkedIn Lifestyle Clapback
Take the genre of post-layoff influencer wisdom — and turn it against itself. Write a hustle-core post so performatively hollow it accidentally circles back into brilliance. Let the tone drip with buzzwords. Spin the layoff into a Category Design Moment. Make it satire. Make it viral.
Example Snippet:
“AI is not coming for our jobs. It’s coming through our jobs. Like a product-market tsunami coded in Python, it’s reshaping work, worth, and word count. These weren’t layoffs. They were a beta test in human obsolescence. And you know what? I’m here for it. I've never felt more Agile.”
Try the prompt here: LinkedIn Influencer Article — 7 Steps to Nowhere
Call to Action
Tried one? Share it.
Post your satirical masterpiece in the comments, or link out to your own prompt-powered revenge post. Bonus points for dramatic readings, AI narration, or Slackbot reenactments. Tag it: #LayoffRecoveryKit
Because laughter is cheaper than therapy — and way more fun on LinkedIn.
Oh … and …